Please stop using the "This vacuum SUCKS!" joke. Seriously. Anyone who's actually researching vacuums (AKA this nerd right here) will get irritated by them very very quickly. Just trust me when I say it's not funny when you've read it 57 times.
Dear flowers from my mama,
You're beautiful and I want you to last longer, pretty please!
You're a crazy ginger and one of the most hilarious people I know. I'm so glad we're changing the world through theatre arts together.
I will dearly hold on to the memory of that one time I beat you in Words with Friends. Because it hasn't happened since. Boo.
Remember that time when I hated smartphones? Yeah, me either. I'm sorry I ever doubted you.